


if I showed you my flaws, if I couldn't be strong

by DarchangelSkye



Category: Adam Levine (Musician), Music RPF, Real Person Fiction, The Voice (US) RPF, The Voice RPF
Genre: Confessions, Dialogue Heavy, Emotional, Fix-It of Sorts, Hopeful Ending, Late at Night, Loneliness, Long-Distance, M/M, Phone Calls & Telephones, Relationship Negotiation, Self-Indulgent, Wordcount: 100-2.000, author apologizes for sap overload, crackship turned OTP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2015-11-29
Packaged: 2018-05-03 11:49:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5289581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarchangelSkye/pseuds/DarchangelSkye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"I thought we were doing the right thing, but- I can't-"</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	if I showed you my flaws, if I couldn't be strong

**Author's Note:**

> Because "and nobody knows it but me" ended up breaking my heart too much especially in light of what 'canon' did after :|, so fix-it fic to the rescue.

Adam spun the phone around on the mattress, staring blankly at it. Occasionally he'd tap a digit on the screen, and then it'd go dark from a minute of inactivity. His stomach was tight with nerves and exhaustion, but he knew he had to do this sooner or later- with a sigh Adam completed the number, held the phone to his ear, and tucked his knees close to his chest.

After seven rings, Adam was ready to declare eight as enough and just fall over and disintegrate from heartbreak when he heard a click.

"Hello?" The clear and smooth voice he'd missed, now understandably confused.

Adam took one deep breath- one, to hopefully not sound creepy. Still his reply was small and tentative. "...Vik?"

Instead of the hang-up he expected, thankfully there was an answer. "Adam?"

"I didn't call at a bad time, did I?" What time was it in New York now? Ugh, he really could be stupid-

"No, not at all! I guess I'm...just surprised you kept my number."

Adam didn't want to think about the implications of that statement on the other end. "Figure it'd be pretty redundant to ask if you're all right," he said as he absently traced a finger along the mattress' stitching.

Viktor's laugh was soft, not in mockery. "Are you still being sorry? Because I _am_ all right. There's been so many doors opened for me now and I get to make my dream come true. I really have to thank you for that."

"Thank you for saying that." Adam carefully laid on his side, the pressure in his head that had been on and off now back on and building up behind his eyes. If nothing else, he was not going to cry, dammit-

"You're not all right, are you?"

And that gentle tone was his kryptonite. Adam shook his head and let out a pained "No, I'm not."

Viktor sighed.

"Not so much letting you go from my team, but letting you go period. I thought we were doing the right thing, but- I can't-" He couldn't finish the sentence, but there it was, feelings out in the open. The long nights spent awake and the pit-of-the-stomach aching had an emotion to attach to them.

During the moment of of silence on the other end, Adam was pretty sure Viktor was debating about hanging up, not that he could blame him at all. Instead his tone remained soft. "Adam..."

 _If you're trying to keep me from losing my heart, it's not working._ "You don't have to lie to make me feel better, Vik. It's not like I'm so sad and weak I'm two seconds from jumping out the window-"

"Well nobody wants you to do _that._ "

Ugh, too much a sweetie. "If you're not missing me even just a little, you can tell me now and I'll hang up and go on like this talk never happened and not bug you again. I just want to know the deal." 

He shut his eyes to brace for impact, but the one he ended up getting was a 180 from expected even if it still hit him in the chest.

"Yeah, I've missed you."

OK, Adam told himself he wouldn't cry, but that didn't mean no sniffing in relief. "Now I really _am_ sorry-"

"Adam, I understand what you were doing. You were protecting us and the show and that _was_ the right thing to do, even if it hurt. But seeing that I'm free now..."

"Yeah." Back then he'd said he didn't know how the situation would be, but time had given him perspective. This was something he _needed_. "I mean, I know we wouldn't be in the same place a lot-"

"And that wouldn't make things too lonely?"

"Empathetic, too. How are you so perfect?" Adam felt a smile on his face the first time all evening, one that widened more upon hearing Viktor laugh again.

"I'm the farthest from perfect, Adam, my god. I didn't want to show it on camera, but I had a lot of doubt holding me back. Sometimes I _still_ get it."

"Makes two of us." Adam rubbed his thumb along the phone's casing, wishing it to be Viktor's hand. Yep, he was in deep. "It's a lot of distance, but we could...try, at least?" Maybe it wouldn't fail like the other times and maybe it would crash and burn after all, but Adam felt the need inside to fight for his emotions that he hadn't felt in a long time.

"Don't know if you don't try, right?"

"Guess not." Adam chuckled and rubbed the corners of his eyes. It felt so good to actually be laughing again. "Damn, I'm probably sounding like one of the billion love-struck fans you got now."

"I think it's kind of cute, if that helps," and Adam could just see that beautiful smile on the other side of the country.

He absently rubbed a hand over his stomach whose aching from earlier had lessened, but there was something else he needed to know- "Vik?"

"Yeah?"

"I know I told you what drew me to you- hearing your soul and passion and that- but what about you? What made you realize you...felt what you did?" He didn't want to call it a crush because they were both too old for such things, and he didn't want to call it love because it was way too soon if ever for that word. It was just that wonderful feeling of comfort and attachment that floated in between.

Viktor gave a soft hum of apparent thought before he answered. "You believed in me. You believe in everybody and care about everybdy, and really pushed us to do our best even when we felt we couldn't. I needed that and I'm more grateful for it than you'll ever know."

"And I've been told I care too much."

"Maybe it paid off this time," Viktor's reply had a hint of sly optimism.

"Uh-huh." Adam scooted up on the mattress and reached for a pillow to hold close, not for a substitute but just for something soft.

"Do you feel better?"

"Yeah. Um...is it OK if I text or DM you in the morning?" he asked while feeling his eyes grow heavy from the rollercoaster of the night's emotions.

"Anytime you want. I mean, I might not be able to answer you right away-"

"I know. Just feels good to have someone to say hi to."

One more gentle laugh. "You're very sweet."

"Thank you," Adam smiled and fully shut his eyes. "For everything."

"You too. Sleep well, Adam."

Adam was positive he heard a soft kiss at the end of that statement, and he knew the waiting could be worth it every day until he could feel that again for real. The best things usually were.


End file.
